I just got back from the library. As an aside, how cool is it that I can go to the library at any time of night? Just one of the perks of being at Caltech. Anyways, I had gone there to pick up "The Ancestor's Tale" by Richard Dawkins, but decided against it; I have way too many books out already that I need to read. But on my way out, I stopped by the math section, to look through the various math books. My wanderings led me to the Journal of Combinatorics, Series A, Volume 105, Issue 1, pages 35-50. Why those pages in that particular journal? Well it contains a little paper that I happened to coauthor.
I went and read the proof of Theorem 3.3, the proof I contributed. And I have to say, it wasn't half bad. I don't know if I could recreate it. Now you might claim that I am just mentioning this to stroke my own ego. You know what? You would be right. But I would submit that my ego needs some serious stroking. I took an extra year to graduate, only to face the worst job market in years. I get a new rejection letter almost daily, and there is a non-trivial chance that I will not get employment anywhere. Some people don't even consider me a member of the department.
So I am going to take a moment to appreciate the fact that I am a published mathematician. This in and of itself may not seem terribly impressive; there are many others who have published far more numerous and profound results. But it's a start. And it's not like I found some rinky dink journal either; Journal of Combinatorial Theory is no slouch. I will continue, whether or not I get a job at some prestigious university. I will prove theorems, I will publish papers. I will not give up; to answer Tim Mcgraw, I want it plenty bad.
While I may not be all the way there yet, tonight helped remind of me of a crucial fact.
I. Am. A. Mathematician.
Friday, March 27, 2009
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A Pretty Good Day
I realize I haven't written a new blog entry in a while (which I am sure must upset what I can only assume is a numerous yet silent readership) and that my last few entries have been less than positive. So let me fix both of these problems by just saying that, today, I had a pretty good day.
It started off with a phone interview for a lecturer position at Georgia College and State University. This is a position that is more teaching than research based, but, that said, I came out of the interview with a pretty good feeling about the department. They have extracurricular activities such as Friday seminars and Math Club, both of which I can really get behind in trying to make math more exciting for my students.
More importantly, I walked away from the interview feeling that I had done the best that I could. I did not trip over my words like I have in past interviews. I did have answers to the questions they asked, as well as intelligent questions for them. I know that I personally am not the best judge of things like this, but I felt the interview went very well. I am already starting to think about what life might be like in Georgia...
After the interview, I found myself fully getting into the madness that is the NCAA tournament. All it takes is a bracket in a small pool for every game to be exciting, and have what seems to be life and death implications. The day went very well for my teams. Even better, I was able to enjoy the last games of the evening at the bar with a few of my friends. Sports, as a general principle, are always better with company, and tonight was no exception.
Then, after the games (two of which went down to the buzzer, both in my favor), I walked back to my apartment and ran into my friend Jack at the library. I had a nice conversation with him about the Buffalo sports, Terrell Owens (someone who I need to blog about in the near future) and life after Caltech. All of these topics are near and dear to my heart.
Today started out with a significant interview, at least for my self esteem, and ended with two seemingly insignificant social events. I will not deny that the interview was important. But having a good time by getting out of my apartment and being social may be just as important. They say it is the little things that make life enjoyable, and I tend to agree with "them." It was the combination of the little things and the big things that made today a pretty good day. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.
It started off with a phone interview for a lecturer position at Georgia College and State University. This is a position that is more teaching than research based, but, that said, I came out of the interview with a pretty good feeling about the department. They have extracurricular activities such as Friday seminars and Math Club, both of which I can really get behind in trying to make math more exciting for my students.
More importantly, I walked away from the interview feeling that I had done the best that I could. I did not trip over my words like I have in past interviews. I did have answers to the questions they asked, as well as intelligent questions for them. I know that I personally am not the best judge of things like this, but I felt the interview went very well. I am already starting to think about what life might be like in Georgia...
After the interview, I found myself fully getting into the madness that is the NCAA tournament. All it takes is a bracket in a small pool for every game to be exciting, and have what seems to be life and death implications. The day went very well for my teams. Even better, I was able to enjoy the last games of the evening at the bar with a few of my friends. Sports, as a general principle, are always better with company, and tonight was no exception.
Then, after the games (two of which went down to the buzzer, both in my favor), I walked back to my apartment and ran into my friend Jack at the library. I had a nice conversation with him about the Buffalo sports, Terrell Owens (someone who I need to blog about in the near future) and life after Caltech. All of these topics are near and dear to my heart.
Today started out with a significant interview, at least for my self esteem, and ended with two seemingly insignificant social events. I will not deny that the interview was important. But having a good time by getting out of my apartment and being social may be just as important. They say it is the little things that make life enjoyable, and I tend to agree with "them." It was the combination of the little things and the big things that made today a pretty good day. Hopefully tomorrow will be even better.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Poker? I don't even know 'er.
It all started with the world poker tour, about 5 years ago. I got in the habit of watching poker late at night on TV, and slowly but surely went from fan to casual player to addict. Now, like any addict I claimed it did not have a negative effect on my life, but it got to the point where I would be spending all my free time online at PokerStars. At first, this was no big deal to me since I was winning money. And if you just judge it on the bottom line, I am definitely ahead in the long run (I know everyone says that, but it really is true); in fact, the extra money I earned helped pay for my car.
But then, after having the biggest upswing of my life, I had the biggest downswing of my life. It got to the point where I just could not win. That was when I finally realized that I wasn't having any fun, and essentially quit playing poker competetively. Not only that, I basically became less and less interested in the game, and stopped watching it on TV. In addition, I stopped checking out the poker forums, which incidentally freed up a lot of time (though that time just got transferred into checking out the various atheist/science blogs). I finally realized that the amount of time I was putting into poker was just not worth it.
Though I was able to quit playing poker competitively, I still have been going to my regular Sunday night game. This game started several years ago, and it has gotten to the point where I am the only one left of the original players. Most of my current group of friends plays in this game, and I do enjoy it a lot. That said, I am not exactly flushed with cash. So when I go on losing streaks, streaks which will happen more often since I am essentially playing for fun and have stopped actively trying to get better, I can lose a non-trivial amount of money.
Now, I could play very conservatively, and probably not lose more than 20 bucks a week. But that just isn't me. I have a dark side to my personality, one that loves to gamble. It has come out in my half dozen trips to Las Vegas, and it also comes out in our unlimited rebuy tournaments. The hand that did me in tonight was in a cash game, where I just decided I had to bluff Mark out of the hand. Of course he called, with three sevens no less, and that was the end of my night. That hand is symbolic of my entire gambling philosophy; I start out playing it safe, but get more and more reckless until all of my money is gone.
Don't get the wrong idea. I am not in danger of going homeless anytime soon, and I have limited my gambling to once a week at this game. But I can see the warning signs that tell me that this could easily get out of hand, and sometimes, after losing, it scares me just a little bit.
But then, after having the biggest upswing of my life, I had the biggest downswing of my life. It got to the point where I just could not win. That was when I finally realized that I wasn't having any fun, and essentially quit playing poker competetively. Not only that, I basically became less and less interested in the game, and stopped watching it on TV. In addition, I stopped checking out the poker forums, which incidentally freed up a lot of time (though that time just got transferred into checking out the various atheist/science blogs). I finally realized that the amount of time I was putting into poker was just not worth it.
Though I was able to quit playing poker competitively, I still have been going to my regular Sunday night game. This game started several years ago, and it has gotten to the point where I am the only one left of the original players. Most of my current group of friends plays in this game, and I do enjoy it a lot. That said, I am not exactly flushed with cash. So when I go on losing streaks, streaks which will happen more often since I am essentially playing for fun and have stopped actively trying to get better, I can lose a non-trivial amount of money.
Now, I could play very conservatively, and probably not lose more than 20 bucks a week. But that just isn't me. I have a dark side to my personality, one that loves to gamble. It has come out in my half dozen trips to Las Vegas, and it also comes out in our unlimited rebuy tournaments. The hand that did me in tonight was in a cash game, where I just decided I had to bluff Mark out of the hand. Of course he called, with three sevens no less, and that was the end of my night. That hand is symbolic of my entire gambling philosophy; I start out playing it safe, but get more and more reckless until all of my money is gone.
Don't get the wrong idea. I am not in danger of going homeless anytime soon, and I have limited my gambling to once a week at this game. But I can see the warning signs that tell me that this could easily get out of hand, and sometimes, after losing, it scares me just a little bit.
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